being real | caroltweed

Holes I’m a huge believer that you should always bring your whole self to work. You should bring your interests and your passions. You should bring your authenticity. Being real is the only way to be. Otherwise work would be boring, filled with phony stiffs and fake conversations. Can you imagine that – 40 or 50 hours a week? Horrible. Like holding your breath until you get home.

But what about when you DO get home? Should you continue to hold your breath?? Many of us feel like home is where we are safest, where we can truly let our hair down and be who we are, the “me, unplugged” sort of thing. But are you really? Is there a side of you that you keep hidden from your home occupants? Maybe it is your deep-set fears, or your biggest dreams, who you want to be, what you want to become, why you do what you do. Maybe you hide those things, too.

What is so wrong with being real anyway? What are you afraid of? Will someone laugh at your dreams, your goals, how YOU see yourself on the inside?

Perhaps they will.

Is that so crushing, so bad? Will that sting? It absolutely will. Will it kill you – probably not. Will it deaden your relationships? It may, but then again, it may just help them grow stronger, become more purposeful.

So ~ work, home, play ~ take a deep breath, blow it out along with all those doubts, those fears and that stress. Then breathe back in, fill those lungs of yours. And do it. Here’s what I think:

Knotted Wood.jpg

Wood has knots. Lots of them. In fact, it is impossible to make something out of wood without having to deal with the knots. Unless you intend on making toothpicks – then you are probably safe… So where did this come from?? Life has knots, too. And they are hard, and they are awkward, and they don’t fit in well with our plans and they make it really, really tough to get around sometimes. Who gets to live without knots in their life? Certainly not you. Nor your neighbor, or your sister, or that really well put together guy that you know who never seems to struggle guy. Or the homeless gal that waits on a corner with a sign and a hope that you will help. But…

Knots are strength in disguise. They add a richness to the design, a beauty to the soul, those flaws actually make something quite pleasing to the eye. They add color changes and depth, character and personality. They are the trial and the end result is the overcoming personified.

They are Being Real ~ Really.

2014 Tad weeding

2-26-2016

Ever noticed how on Blogs and a lot of social media people like to reference others with initials and not their names? Why is that? Are they protecting someone else’s privacy? Are they skittish about sharing a secret that they know they shouldn’t? Here’s my take on that whole thing – stop it.

Our world is pretty transparent anymore and mentioning only one initial does nothing but distract me from their message. My brain immediately begins cranking through the list of “who could she be talking about?” instead of listening and getting the life’s message I’m supposed to be getting. Women are particularly fond of the initials not names business. Is it because we are sensitive creatures and striving to protect our environments? Who knows? Maybe it assures them in some virtual and powerful way that it’s working. I am disinclined to buy into that.

So, you may ask, why is she harping over this weird little thing that NO ONE has ever noticed but her?? Because I feel like we ought to celebrate people and how they change us. And then say so. Give them the credit for how they treat us, what we learn from them.

What if they are mean and nasty and I just want to vent??

Even nastiness can be a learning experience. Not that I am advocating an all “sunshine and fluffy wonderment” sort of mentality, although more of that wouldn’t hurt anybody, but don’t you agree that we have all learned valuable life lessons from crappy situations?

Case in point: I was having a pretty crappy day a while ago. Junk floating around in my head was getting the best of me. I lamented to my friend David that today was just plain stupid and I was beyond irritable. He replied that it sounded to him like I needed a nap. Yeah, right! I can’t do that – I’ve got stuff to do and lots of it. I would feel terribly guilty even for a quick 20 minute power nap. And he said, “Part of being a creature meant to live in a garden is to allow the natural processes integral to the garden and your place in it to do their work. Taking a nap when that’s what you need is honoring the garden and your place in it.” Wow, I said, you are so smart! Where did you get this from? His reply? It’s the same advice you gave to me and I have been trying to live by it better.

Imagine that.